Apply suggestions from code review

Co-authored-by: Leonardo Bishop <13875753+LMBishop@users.noreply.github.com>
Signed-off-by: Holly <25277367+Thatsmusic99@users.noreply.github.com>

Author: Thatsmusic99

_collections/_news/2025-06-24-year-in-review-2025.md

@@ -17,32 +17,30 @@ let's go through what we've done throughout semester 2.
 # What's been going on
 
 We held a lot of quirky collaborations with other societies this semester, with societies both well-established and newly
-created. For example, our regular SloLAN game night with GDS, UGG, VR and eSports, a very last-minute entry into the EPS
-Sports Day with the Eagles, CivSoc, MathSoc and many others, but also our `break;` variation with CheeseSoc. We also settled
-the score with Bad Film following the war waged in Semester 1, which we unfortunately lost because somehow they had someone
-who had played Mario Kart Wii competitively for roughly 10 years, so we were set up from the very beginning! Regardless,
-there was a bit more of a focus on the larger events this semester - so generally, we've been a bit quieter other than
+created. For example: our regular SloLAN game night with GDS, UGG, VR and eSports; a very last-minute entry into the EPS
+Sports Day with the Eagles, CivSoc, MathSoc and many others; and, our `break;` variation with CheeseSoc. We also settled
+the score with Bad Film following the war waged in Semester 1, which we unfortunately lost because they had someone
+who played Mario Kart Wii competitively for roughly 10 years, so we were set up from the very beginning! Regardless,
+there was more of a focus on the larger events this semester - so we've been a bit quieter other than
 for these events.
 
 We held our biennial trip to The National Museum of Computing, learning about old machinery that may have been used 
-during World War 2 or the earliest personal computers created. We were able to take on double the number of attendees we 
-usually take every year, but regardless, the event still rapidly sold out - but despite that, we still had a blast 
-revisiting the past, watching as technology changed through the decades, and even got to see some ambitious technology 
-that wasn't particular popular at the time, but made some kind of attempt at innovation. 
+during World War 2 and the earliest personal computers created. We were able to take on double the number of attendees we 
+usually take every year, but the event still rapidly sold out. Despite that, we still had a blast 
+revisiting the past, watching how technology changed through the decades, and even got to see some ambitious innovative technology that wasn't particular popular at the time.
 
 ![The group photo of everyone who came to the TNMoC trip.](/assets/images/2025-end-of-year-newsletter/tnmoc.jpg)
 
-And of course, who could forget the incredible Ball!? This year, we held our annual ball at Macdonald Burlington Hotel,
-a beautiful venue that was right next to Birmingham New Street, making it easy to reach. Each attendee was treated to
+And of course, who could forget the incredible Ball!? This year, we held our annual Ball at Macdonald Burlington Hotel,
+a beautiful venue next to Birmingham New Street. Each attendee was treated to
 a 3-course meal before dancing the night away, celebrating everything that was achieved this academic year. It was an
 incredibly wonderful night for each and every one of us on committee, and we were incredibly happy to see our planning
 efforts pay off. It was difficult to get almost 170 attendees in a single photo, but if you made it on the night, see if
 you can find yourself in our massive group photo!
 
 ![The group photo of Ball attendees.](/assets/images/2025-end-of-year-newsletter/ball.jpg)
 
-If you don't see yourself, don't worry, you should still have photos of yourself - to relive the magical night, you can
-go through the photos at <https://cssbham.com/ball/2025/photos>.
+If you don't see yourself, don't worry, there are plenty of photos of the magical night at <https://cssbham.com/ball/2025/photos>.
 
 And last but not least, but I also imagine to plenty of people's surprise - we were able to hold an actual BBQ this year!
 With support from the Guild, we were able to cook your food, enjoy some cold drinks and celebrate the (near) end of exams
@@ -98,8 +96,7 @@ over their loss of sleep.
 
 ![A group photo of attendees at the end of birmingHack.](/assets/images/2025-end-of-year-newsletter/birminghack-group.jpg)
 
-birmingHack was in incredibly high demand when tickets were first released - in the first hour and a half of 100 tickets
-being released, they all already sold out and required us to open a waiting list, of which garnered over 150 people. I do
+birmingHack was in incredibly high demand when tickets were released - in the first hour and a half all 100 tickets had sold out, with an additional 150 people on the waiting list. I do
 apologise if you were one of those people who were on the waiting list but couldn't go this year - but I hope we'll see
 you next year! There was no doubt that we saw the success of birmingHack, and so did the School of CS, who will be 
 welcoming a second iteration sometime next year.