28july2023

Author: ekrishnachaitanya2004

src/content/blog/28JULY2023.md

@@ -0,0 +1,36 @@
+---
+author: Krishna Chaitanya
+pubDatetime: 2023-07-28T19:43:00
+title: I Just Controlled Myself the Whole Day, Telling Myself Not to Call Her…
+slug: 28jul2023
+featured: false
+draft: false
+tags:
+  - harshi
+  - fear
+  - khc
+  - holiday
+  - Dream
+  - college
+description:
+   tried my best not to call her, not to think about her. But no matter what I do, she’s still in my mind. She never calls, never checks in—but what if, one day, she does? Would that change anything?
+---
+I just controlled myself the whole day, telling myself not to call her. Just don’t do it.
+
+I even went to college, thinking at least that would distract me. But guess what? It was a holiday—Muharram. What the fuck. I didn’t even check my class group. Wasted trip.
+
+So, I returned home by 10 AM. While traveling back, the dream from last night came rushing back, messing with my head again. And suddenly, I felt this urge to call her. Just hear her voice. But then again—she must be in her college. And even if I did call, what would I even talk about? I had nothing to share, no actual reason to call. What’s the point?
+
+My mind kept spinning with thoughts, doubts, overthinking every possibility, every response she might give. Just as usual. I plugged in my earphones, played Dawn FM, and tried to shut it all out.
+
+But even after reaching home, she was still there—stuck in my head, refusing to leave. I looked at her pictures. And I don’t know why, but she felt different. Like a stranger. Like someone who had already moved far, far away from me. Maybe I’m just overthinking, or maybe it’s the truth.
+
+She spends all her time with her new college friends now. Enjoying, laughing, living life. But not even a single call. Not even a thought about me.
+
+I worry. I really do. What if she forgets me completely? What if she never thinks about me again?
+
+And here I am, scared that if I call, she’ll just sigh, Ahh, he’s calling again… Like I’m some nuisance she tolerates.
+
+But sometimes, I wonder—what if, one day, without any message or missed call from me, she calls me first?
+
+If that day ever comes, I swear… I’ll die for her.