fix: optimize grouped updateOption refresh path

[fangsmile]

Summary

• optimize grouped updateOption refresh path for issue [Bug] 列表分组时，如果列数过多（50以上），此时在更新表格数据时，会非常卡顿，800条数据，加载了10S+，而且开启关闭也很卡，分组时的渲染逻辑有点问题，感觉是把分组的行数都加载出来了，导致渲染东西太多，我看源码，分组时和普通的渲染逻辑不一样，优化成只渲染当前展示的行列感觉会更好 #5183 and add an issue-like benchmark demo
• avoid rebuilding CachedDataSource when grouped updateOption reuses the same records without active sort
• reduce grouped scenegraph rebuild overhead and align refresh path semantics with setRecords

Fixes

• preserve sorting behavior by falling back to setRecords when sortState changes or active sorting exists
• sync addRecordRule during refreshRecords
• reuse _setRecords row hierarchy decision in refresh fast path so grouped data keeps tree semantics

Benchmark

• issue-like demo: 1000 x 100, groupBy=[Category, Sub-Category], toggle between two record sets by updateOption
• before: avg about 250.0ms on first stable run, hot run avg about 197.23ms
• after: avg about 147.2ms on first stable run, hot run avg about 71.23ms

Tests

• add grouped updateOption regression tests for dataSource reuse, sorting fallback, addRecordRule sync, and grouped row hierarchy
• rush test passed during push hooks

Closes #5183