feat: add lifecycle commands

[artrixdotdev]

Summary

• add public torrent pause, resume, and stop controls backed by idempotent actor lifecycle transitions
• add engine remove and graceful shutdown commands for frontend control
• cover lifecycle behavior with deterministic actor and engine tests

Stack

• Stacked on feat: define stable frontend facade #247 because Add public engine and torrent lifecycle commands #225 depends on the frontend facade from Define stable frontend facade for libtortillas #222.

Closes #225.
Part of #221.

Tests

• cargo fmt --all -- --check
• cargo clippy --workspace --all-targets -- -D warnings
• cargo nextest run --workspace
• cargo nextest run --workspace --run-ignored only
• cargo test -p libtortillas --doc

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