Chaos Tests

[devhawk]

This PR is not ready for review. I've opened a draft PR for CI coverage

This PR updates dbRetry to make it retry in more situations:

• isConnectionFailure returns true for exceptions w/o a SQL state code but that have a message related to closed connection.
• isTransientState returns for all SQL State codes that start with 53 instead of just 53300 to cover all insufficient resource errors
• removes 20 retry cap
• unified retry backoff starting at 1s and maxing at 60s

Enables chaosTest and adds a new toxiproxy based test to simulate more failure scenarios. Both tests run 5 times but only in CI environments by default

Updates StaticQueuesTest and TimeoutTest to reduce flakyness.