heebie

Author: tecunningham

posts/2026-03-19-heebie-jeebies.md

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+# 2026-03-19 |                      Dr Mary Robbins
+
+- postdoctoral psychologist
+- 36 visit limit
+
+L: she says she can't be herself. / When she's spiralling she's inconsistent -- angry at L for staying, angry for going away.
+
+Q: are they panic attacks? breath & heart rate?
+
+- Yes.
+
+1625 Van Ness
+
+
+# 2026-03-11 | Notes from Ms Jeanette
+
+- This is super common, very many kids esp girls go through a phase like this. Ms Jeanette used to drop her daughter off bawling at school.
+- She's stuck in a loop & doesn't know how to get out of it.
+- If she's anxious then needs more structure, and more consistent follow-through.
+- Give her less choice, don't ask her whether she wants pancakes or croissants.
+- We can drop her at school even if she's melting down, just drop her in the social worker room.
+- We should suggest she could visit Ms Jeanette at school. We can say "we're worried about you"
+- Tell her anxiety is useful but sometimes you get too much.
+
+
+# 2026-03-11 |                      chicken / specifically do different
+
+
+
+##      specifics
+
+- Don't make her a different dinner. Don't have salad without dressing. 
+- No audiobook in the mornings.
+- Don't negotiate.
+- Give her regular domingos, $5/week.
+
+
+# 2026-03-06 |                      Dr Sabrina Fernandez / heebie jeebies
+
+- Started December or January
+- Avg of once/day
+- Typically half-hour to an hour
+- Will cry & curl into a ball; hard to comfort her; gets scared & frustrated with her.
+- She talks about how she's holding things in & can't be herself. / Especially at school, and somewhat at EVA.
+- Triggers:
+    - anxious about going to folklorico
+    - anxious going to school in the morning
+
+--------------------------------------------
+
+She probably has anxiety. How disruptive it's been for her internally. 
+
+Would start with therapy. 
+
+Can skip the waiting list. Dont' think she need psychiatrist. 
+
+Within anxiety there are many branches -- phobia, social settings, stress.
+
+Send a questionnaire on mychart.
+
+- HelloBrightLine parent coaching
+- UCSF CalMap -- 
+    - https://cal-map.org/s/resources/family-resources/anxiety?language=en_US#Handouts
+    - https://calhope-econsult.my.salesforce.com/sfc/p/#Hp000003UXYg/a/Hp000000t5y0/2AaqLmBgqZ5JAakak0e..7LsEf1nFPksVkXm9XtgtfA
+    - https://calhope-econsult.my.salesforce.com/sfc/p/#Hp000003UXYg/a/Hp000000t5xw/H9drNYfdSXwqNZE8IiRoU3Uh5RVDy79N9_FnDEbgxRM
+
+
+She needs flexibility. Good that food is not a stressor.
+
+Don't say anxiety, say stress & worry.
+
+Go to insurance company -> they will list providers. 
+
+PsychologyToday.com
+
+Worth having someone talk to her separately.
+
+Going through puberty.
+
+Dave Becker UCSF -> really good 
+
+UCSF doesn't do much therapy -> just psych
+
+*I think her fatigue is a manifestation of her stress*
+
+Tell C we talked to Dr about having strong emotions -- 
+
+--------------------------------------------
+
+**Things we could try.**
+
+- A week off school.
+- A holiday
+- More strict rules: time to bed; get things ready.
+- No ipad for a week.
+- **C talk to Kuia / talk to Abui**
+- Ask more about what happens in recess.
+- Blood tests -> anemia; thyroid; monotiters.
+- More physical exercise --> running around every day --> *is it worse after a day at home?*
+- Give her more structure --> make dinner, chores, .
+- Feed her more -- maybe she's always hungry
+- More playdates all the time -- weekends full of hangouts.
+- Enrol in a sports team
+
+**Therapist.**
+
+- GESHEVA, ILIYANA BORISLAVOVA
+    - https://search.dca.ca.gov/details/2001/LMFT/120580/688ca918b04550d5b24020429221444b
+
+
+# 2026-02-12 |                      chicken / heebie-jeebies
+
+- Chicken had a bad case of the heebie-jeebies on Wednesday night.
+
+- Wednesday morning was rough. I had to get to jury duty, & we didn't have much time to spare. C was whimpering all the way from the house to EVA, she said she wanted more time, & I said "so do I, but we don't have more time."
+
+- Afternon I picked C up from EVA, took her to Whole Foods, fine. Lynn said she'd pick us up from WF, but then took 20 minutes to leave the house. She arrived and didn't acknowledge anyting, didn't apologize, I was irritated. She eventually said she had a call from work that slowed her down.
+
+- C delicate in the evening. I asked her if she wanted to go to Cuicacalli & she curled into a ball, couldn't either say yes or no. Later I said she should make her own dessert before going to bed and she got weepy and anxious again.
+
+- L came home from petco, started using her serious voice on C, saying "OK time's up" & L burst into tears, & then was another hour whimpering. I glared at L for triggering it. 
+
+- We both hugging C in bed for a long time.
+
+- I'm a bit impatient with Lynn, when I feel she's mishandling the situation. She keeps *talking*, giving pep talks to Citlali, or asking her serious questions, & I feel it backfires. Lynn changed tack and got Citlali laughing somehow, & that worked.
+
+- Goal: get through February with as few breakdowns as possible.
+
+- What to do differently?
+    1. Leave super early for EVA, set a fake deadline.
+    2. Officially taking a break from Cuicacalli for February.
+
+- I'm anticipating our detox week will break down. L will sulk and take her phone. C will have a meltdown & we'll want to give her audiobook or TV.
+
+##          talking to mum
+
+I talked to her while walking around in Stanford, & told her about C's heebie-jeebies.
+
+I said my strategy: that the wound needs to heal, build up a scar.
+
+She said quickly that she felt maybe we should do the opposite. Citlali has not much external structure, so she internalizes things, & then feels guilty about them.
+
+Maybe should have more external structure.
+
+# 2026-02-05 |                      Citlali anxiety / heebie-jeebies
+
+   C got the heebie-jeebies again last night.
+
+   I picked her up from EVA & she said she had a hard day. We started walking to get ramen before Cuicacalli, but she suddenly deflated & said she wanted to go home, & we got an uber. 
+
+   We had pasta & we talked about whether to go to Cuicacalli & she got anxious heebie-jeebies. We said OK, we won't go.
+
+   Then later when she was going to sleep got it again. Calmed down. Then I said she has to wrap up listening to audio book, & anxious again.
+
+   When she's in this state she's particularly sensitive about disapproval from me & L. She says L's voice seems angry, it stresses her out. I think she hates to see my face becuase she sees irritation or disappointment.
+
+
+# 2026-01-25 |                      heebie jeebies
+
+Citlali nervosa / anxious / heebie-jeebies.
+: 
+    Citlali getting nervous, upset -- when she wants to do something, but also doesn't want to do it. (1) going to cuicacalli; (2) eating something; (3) going to school to do her project. She says "I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry."